There’s something nostalgic and easygoing about a point-and-click game. It’s the kind of experience that transports you back to the early 2000s, to the half-assed, hastily ported licensed video games children played on their computer labs at school.
Earth Must Die, the new point-and-click adventure developed by Size Five Games and published by No More Robots, evokes that nostalgia while turning it up to eleven with an all-star voice cast, a tongue-in-cheek narrative about politics and succession, and some very adult themes. Mesh all of that with some pretty good humor, and you have a brief, occasionally frustrating, but overall worthwhile moment of escapism.
A Story Is Nothing Without Its Main Character
In Earth Must Die, players take control of VValak Lizardtongue, Grand Shepherd of the Tyrythian Ascendancy. This is a title you help him earn in the opening moments of the game, as his father is impaled and has mere moments before he takes his final breath. In this opening scene, it becomes clear that you are controlling the black sheep of the family, and a rather meek one at that.
Not only is VValak told in no uncertain terms that his father wants nothing to do with him being his successor, but you are also then made to call your older brothers, the rightful heirs to the throne. You must then manipulate your brothers into killing one another, so there’s no choice but to make VValak, a petulant nincompoop who still needs the assistance of his nurse bot, Milky, the new Grand Shepherd.
Ultimately, after a 300-year time skip, you find that VValak has refused to do much but lead from the throne, and upon learning that there is a Fabriconium shortage, he’s finally forced to take matters into his own hands. However, it’s only then that he learns he doesn’t have much power as the Grand Shepherd, as he has to run everything by billionaire investors and mysterious Underwriters who have been crafting the narrative of his legacy and lying to the people of his planet. An incredible mirror to society in some ways, all of this occurs before the actual crux of the story begins, and the Tyrythian Ascendancy is overthrown by a race of aliens known as the Terranoids.
A Star-Studded Cast
Voiced by Joel Fry, known for his work in Game of Thrones, Our Flag Means Death, Plebs, and the 2021 Cruella film, VValak is entirely self-centered throughout the story. However, player decisions can sway whether he comes off as a try-hard, desperate to look cool and aloof, or an overexcited child. Players can also decide if he’s a bit more of a kind ruler to those around him, or if they want to choose to portray him as completely self-absorbed.
The cast also includes Alex Horne, Mike Wozniak, Ben Starr, and Martha Howe-Douglas, among other voice actors breathing life into this very colorful sci-fi adventure.
An Art Style Befitting Cartoon Network with Adult Swim Subject Matter
The game’s art style is undeniably beautiful, like an old cartoon come to life. The cutscenes, brief as they may be, are well animated and suck you into the world. However, despite the game’s genre and art style seeming like a Nickelodeon show from 2002, it’s very adult.
Not only is there the aforementioned murder of your family members, but there’s also plenty of sexuality. How many games do you know where you’ll get a trophy for observing an orgy up close?
It’s Not All a Smooth Ride Through Space
While there’s plenty to enjoy about this game, some of the puzzles can get frustrating. Not to the point where you’re going to smash your mouse or controller, but you may find yourself exiting the game and choosing to come back to it at a later time after bumbling around for a while, uncertain of what to do next.
Speaking of time, at some point in the game, the load times are a bit longer than you’d like to see in 2026, but ultimately, we’re not talking about a AAA title here.
Games like these can definitely be beaten in one sitting, but may serve best as a light-hearted title to pop on and play for a quick gaming session where you don’t need to be fully locked in and intensely mashing buttons.
Earth Must Die Review Verdict
At the end of the day, this is a charming game. It’s highly doubtful that many people will consider it to be their favorite of all time. But at the very least, it’s an enjoyable narrative with a charming art style that allows you to destress and play as a bumbling buffoon and laugh a little bit at how much the person who’s supposed to be in charge of things doesn’t know what they’re doing.
Arguably, something that’s very needed in these times.
Perhaps this title will even encourage them to check out more lighthearted point-and-click titles available on Steam. At a time when more variety in the video game space is needed, that alone makes it a good, worthwhile release.
Earth Must Die is available on Steam and is currently 25% off until February 10, 2026. Do you plan on picking up the game? Sound off in our official Discord server. Also, don’t forget to sign up for our weekly newsletter.
Earth Must Die
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Earth Must Die
